The Man, The Myth, The Flattened Legend
Howdy, road warriors and critter connoisseurs! I'm Bill "Roadkill" Johnson, the self-proclaimed Picasso of the Pavement, the Da Vinci of Dead Varmints, the Michelangelo of Mashed Mammals. For over four decades, I've been turning highway tragedies into roadside treasures!
"In the grand tapestry of life, I'm just here to document the loose threads on the asphalt."
The Road to Roadkill Stardom
Roadkill Factoid #42:
Did you know? I've documented over 10,000 individual specimens of roadkill across all 50 states. That's more flattened fauna than you can shake a spatula at!
Bill's Roadkill Philosophy
Some folks might say I'm a bit twisted, but I prefer to think of myself as "creatively recycled." Every splat on the asphalt tells a story, and I'm here to make sure those tales don't get lost in the rear-view mirror of life.
Skills of a Roadkill Connoisseur
Join the Crushed Critter Crusade!
Whether you're a curious onlooker or a fellow enthusiast, there's always room for more in the wild world of roadkill appreciation. Remember, in the grand highway of life, we're all just trying to avoid becoming part of the pavement!
"Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel, and your camera ready for unexpected flattenings!" - Roadkill Bill